backyard birds and hoosiers

have you ever heard of an identification guide to common backyard birds brought to you by bird watchers digest? aparently it is a best seller... so some one has. did you know that bird watchers are actually called birders? evidently, birding (bird watching for all of you readers unfamiliarized with birding jargon) is a kind of sport. if i wanted, i could sign up for a birding conference or go to a birding fair-- if i didn't mind the drive.

are we searching? yes... but i will never understand the fascination people have with bird watching or why the previously mentioned magazine is a best sellers list even if it does include features such as color photographs of 80 plus birds with a description of the species’ features, food preference and range. i'm sorry bird watchers digest, i'm not intrigued and i don't i really think that your backyard birds is an "indispensable resource".

lately i've been taking this class: geology of indiana. wow. yet another interest in this life that i cannot quite understand. i am though, being forced to try. we'll see as i embark upon a camping trip next week with 7 others i don't really know to face the wilderness and explore its sediments. yahoo! do you sense my exhilaration? i'm exhilarated. this is me exhilarated.

do you believe me yet? i'm more excited to get to know the others that have been dragged through the 2 page, 1o point font, small margined, single space papers that i have been trudging through. i'm exagerating-- its really not that bad. still, i'm not facinated with the glacial deposits in northern indiana or the michigan or illinios basins. sorry all of you geology buffs (do you exist?) in fact i know way more than i ever wanted to know. kinda like knowing that bird watchers are called birders. aren't you glad you are aware of that now?

it is nearly impossible for me to understand the love people possess for bird watching or geology yet for others, my obsession with music or softball and especially the city probably seems far fetched. but learning to appreciate their love regardless of whether its shared or not may in fact be the first step in learning something, the first step to understanding. i guess its not necessary to understand but beneficial to try. people know when you are trying. even when you tell them you hate indiana or say religion just isn't for you. some how you know they are trying when take time to smile at the cows in wabash county or ask them how church was. they know.

"we shall see but a little way if we require to understand what we see."
henry david thoreau

state troopers

what is worse?
driving over the speed limit and being passed by cars going around you in the right lane or driving in the right lane watching the left lane zoom by?
i guess i'm learning to be okay with either as long as i'm not being pulled over.

ball four... take your base

"i've seen you puts around for seven innings! now lets get out there and play baseball!"
this sentance resounds off of the coaches mouth as the 9-12 year olds think about the hotdog they will have after the game and wave to their videotaping grandparents in the stands and on their coleman foldable lawnchairs, complete with cupholders and foot rests.

i think of days of old when softball consumed my summer and life; when family vacations turned from weeks at the cottage in michigan to 10 game turnaments every weekend and a farmer's tan though i was far from growing crops (what's the difference between a tractor and a ride mower anyway?) ode to fresh starchy foul lines, change-up strike outs and 2 outs, bases loaded rbi's. but with all of those good times to reminisce no one can forget those overly serious coaches (and parents) that live vicariously through their players whether they be 18 or 7.

i always found it amusing, umpiring for 7-9 year olds with catchers not understanding the meaning of their position as i repeatedly retrieved the ball back to the pitcher and hit-able (forehead to ankles) being the strikezone unless the game were to last 4 and 1/2 hours. the kids were fine with that... they usually are... but coaches and parents... they place themselves in their child's shoes ending up defending a "bad call" as if this were the major leagues in the bottom of the ninth innning during the world series. its not that serous everyone. enjoy the game, have a beer, wave to your kids instead of using your hands to flick off the umpire. aunque that sets an excellent example...

i always wonder why it is that people think it is encouraging to reem 10 year olds for not sliding quick enough or swinging and missing that third strike. for some reason i don't know if that is the most helpful thing to do. maybe most helpful in making their child hate baseball and anything else that they may have been interested in at some point; instead forcing them into less productive things. not always though. sometimes they become the best of the best out of fear... fear of letting others down, fear of disappointing. anything is better that being reemed again. have fun with dealing with the effects of that.

but then you can't forget the compulsive affirmers-- "that was a nice swing johny" (maybe while golfing) or "good eye, that wasn't your pitch" (even though the umpire called a strike). how about "nice dive" (yeah, the wrong way). that is probably more helpful for the child self-esteem but just until he or she starts recieving possitive criticism... that will be fun.

can't coaches and parents make a conscious decision to be encouraging yet truthful, challenging yet realistic... i hope i can when i'm there. i must say... i caught myself living through those tykes today, remember the days of softball complexes and the first night game i ever played and regretfully backwards K's... i miss it... hopefully i'm done missing it and ready to hit it one day. many didn't make it to that base.

phantom menace

phenomenon in this nervous system of ours—referred pain and phantom pain. for referred pain the brain detects certain stimuli in organs and projects the sensation to different areas or the skin… heart: arm, diaphragm: neck, stomach upper mid-back. for phantom pain amputees report that they still feel sensations as if the limb were still connected to their body, sensing the missing part as if it were still there. fascinating.

does this happen in different contexts?-- having one stimulus and expected effect but instead the perceived effect having a connection to something it shouldn't; as if your nerves have been wired incorrectly--now you hear through your eyes and smell through your ears. this is best grasped when considering seeing bright light when getting hit in the eye, instead of instense pain the surrounding bones and flesh experience. it's just because the eye's nerves involve rods and cones percieving light instead of a painful, swelling sensation effects. (side note: if you don’t have one sense others become heightened). hm.

most intriguing still-- phantom pain. people become so accustomed to having the removed leg that they sense it. they remember running and swimming and playing soccer in the sprinklers but then they get up to go do those things and can't, vanished. one might say…"at least when the limb is gone, the pain of stubbing a toe or waking up with a charlie horse is too"….but wait no, no its not-- thanks to phantom pain. it’s still there and it hurts and even more than that physical pain—it hurts that it gone… and everyone knows it-- even when it’s replaced or repaired, this synthesis will never be the same or as close as a match as that original limb.

i just hope my big toe doesn’t get amputated one day… i hear you lose your balance and ability to run… think of the regret of not running all those days when i once could have—but really, could i have? paralyzing.

i got a good idea...

met up with some old friends this weekend-- never really was very good friends with one of them but in the company of another he's not too bad. not too bad at all. it was a pretty good idea-- to just chill, sit out under the stars and laugh. its been a while. morning does come and it wasn't too bad when it arrived. i think i'm going to make it and i don't ned to see them all the time. it's nice to like some one but not be dependent on them. its nice to know when to go home. real nice.