questions and answers

i've never been able to taste healing, in the past 3 years as i am able right now. yes, there are disconcerting pieces of life lingering in the scars of the past and present but they remind me that i'm weak and in need of a strength outside of myself. i recall before entering this summer, i wrote to Him about a lot of insecurities concerning this internship:

4.18 "maybe i shouldn't work at emmaus this summer? i keep asking this question. does that mean i should?"
4.16 "what am doing working with male prostitutes this summer? i need your help. i can't do it on my own."
4.05 "what makes me think that i can be in this type of work? i'm a mess myself."
3.39 "am i do this internship to run away again?"

i have been suprised, yet again by his faithfulness, his way of doing what's unexpected. there's no doubt in my mind now that this is what i'm supposed to be doing at this moment. i've been taken outside of myself in serving others but because of the nature of this place i'm forced to face myself at the same time. running away-- not possible. standing still-- also impossible. why is it that i still find it amazing that his answer is collectively: "i will help you".

8.2 "thank you"