first time...

today was a LOADED in so many ways. i can't decide if it was an encouraging or frustrating day. today included many firsts...

• first time planning a bible study for the guys
• first time i saw up close and personal what crack does to a person when they get high (this was slightly scary)
• first time reporting drug usage
• first time i used some auhority where i work
• first time eating a meal cooked by one of our volunteers (which doesn't seem significant but she is an old english woman that goes around greeting everyone with a kiss on the cheek. plus she is known by the guys as the best cook at Emmaus
• first time watching King Kong (kind of disturbing)
• first time using a fax machine
• first time going to a treatment center to visit a guy
• first time going to a closed NA meeting
• first time going on outreach with Chris
• first time admitting what it is i really want (even if its just right now)
• first time having a conversation with someone that is schitzophrenic
• first time watcing the sunrise from my apartment

like i had said, LOADED. i don't know exactly know what to do with all of the information that is going through my head right now but i wanted to get it down. goodnight... or goodmorning i suppose.