oldies radio stations
authority breeds oppression. power breeds abuse. love breeds lust. friendship breeds dependency. confidence breeds pride. how much i desire a contraceptive for evil, this thing we call depravity. to rule justly; to love purely; to stand tall humbly-- all three seemingly oxymoronic on many occasions.
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this road to holiness sometimes seems more like a road to perdition but i'm reminded that his scemes are temporary and the journey rarely matches the destination. the journey is often sufficating... tunnel vision comes to mind...
...i can't help but recall those family road trips to michigan, traveling in the van with the invisible line between my brother and i. we didn't have gameboy and dvd players that attatched to the back of the seat. individual headsets? right... maybe we'd "share" a walkman radio but for the most part i spend my time memorizing the "oldies 104.3" jingle. you can hear it now...or at least i can. and like all other things meantioned earlier (not the same at all), this "family bonding time" breads, what i'd like to call, "at risk creativity".
to give an example... one form of creativity includes a mock kidnapping of my henrietta doll (yes i named her that) and a launching her out the window. how do i respond? by shrieking, "i wanna go home!" over and over again for aproximately 20 minutes. was that going to change anything? no... not really but home seemed closer than michigan plus there was some satisfation achieved through flooding the van with my screams even if it was to merely drown out the beach boys and the four seasons for a moment. that invisible line in the van created a wall that saved me from many things... but also equivoquely damned me: after all it was invisible.
hopefully that story was somewhat entertaining because i don't know how much it really connects to my point. i guess, presently i often feel like i'm in the van again screaming things out like, "i wanna go home" as it seems closer than the destination... in all actuality it might be. oh do my screams resound; the only difference is, i'm not sure what they are drowning out. i'm pretty sure it isn't the beach boys or the 4 seasons. one thing i'm sure of though-- i'm glad i'm not driving. if i were i might have turned around finding myself still without my henrietta doll and without a vacation to boot.
----------------
this road to holiness sometimes seems more like a road to perdition but i'm reminded that his scemes are temporary and the journey rarely matches the destination. the journey is often sufficating... tunnel vision comes to mind...
...i can't help but recall those family road trips to michigan, traveling in the van with the invisible line between my brother and i. we didn't have gameboy and dvd players that attatched to the back of the seat. individual headsets? right... maybe we'd "share" a walkman radio but for the most part i spend my time memorizing the "oldies 104.3" jingle. you can hear it now...or at least i can. and like all other things meantioned earlier (not the same at all), this "family bonding time" breads, what i'd like to call, "at risk creativity".
to give an example... one form of creativity includes a mock kidnapping of my henrietta doll (yes i named her that) and a launching her out the window. how do i respond? by shrieking, "i wanna go home!" over and over again for aproximately 20 minutes. was that going to change anything? no... not really but home seemed closer than michigan plus there was some satisfation achieved through flooding the van with my screams even if it was to merely drown out the beach boys and the four seasons for a moment. that invisible line in the van created a wall that saved me from many things... but also equivoquely damned me: after all it was invisible.
hopefully that story was somewhat entertaining because i don't know how much it really connects to my point. i guess, presently i often feel like i'm in the van again screaming things out like, "i wanna go home" as it seems closer than the destination... in all actuality it might be. oh do my screams resound; the only difference is, i'm not sure what they are drowning out. i'm pretty sure it isn't the beach boys or the 4 seasons. one thing i'm sure of though-- i'm glad i'm not driving. if i were i might have turned around finding myself still without my henrietta doll and without a vacation to boot.
posted by ek at 12:42 AM
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