half thoughts

"i beg you... to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. don't search for the answers, which could not be given you now, because you would not be able to live them. and the point is, to live perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." -- rainer maria rilke

i've been trying to use every key to unlock those rooms and have been reading these foreign texts in attempt to move to translate the language into my own. he is the key. he is the translator. many half thoughts and answers have come about from februaary to march. while trying to figure out the other half of the thought and the other half of the answer it has been easy to miss as he's whispering it to me. i didn't hear the whisper, so he has chosen to shout. thank you for shouting sometimes when i refuse to hear. i want to refuse no longer. the wind storm has come. the earthquake has shaken. the fire has burnt (and refined) time to listen for the whisper. time to live my way into the answer, without noticing. time to stop searching for answers and start searching for you. and time to start waiting.