pieces of "wisdom" subjct to change

i don't know if anyone even reads this anymore... really that is alright. i'm going to exit out of my normal blog persona. maybe that part of me isn't even a part of me anymore. i'm still learning why ambiguity had its allure and it very well may posess that same inveiglement again but for now here are some less ambiguous thoughts...

in the recent days many things have become clear...

• no one will ever satisfy me to the extent that jesus can and even though i cannot understand that, at least not fully, i know that it is true.
• its a legitimate fear, to be afraid to be too much for someone.
• there is One that is willing and able to make you a healthy person even if many around you are not living very healthily
• forgiveness might be the best thing ever thought up
• there is value in suffering, in fact many monastic people inflict pain on themselves in order to find that value. (ps. it doesn't work that way)
• its important to laugh at yourself and your struggles when they subside. i think it helps you not to take yourself too seriously
• sin may seem to own you daily but bringing it into the light can make an hourly struggle turn into a daily struggle, turn into and weekly struggle and then to a monthly struggle, yearly struggle... until you own it instead
• we are all learning and all imperfect, i shouldn't be surprised by this.
• joining the softball team, is one of the most healthy and best decisions i have ever made.
  there is value in "surfacy" things
• next year could completely negate some of these seemingly savvy thoughts but not all of them